The Cat Post Intelligencer

After rumors of her increasing weight gain, now there are rumors abounding that former Presidential Candidate Cheysuli may actually be bulimic.

“Sometimes she eats a ton of food and then she just vomits it right back up on the floor,” said one person close to the former Candidate.

“I think she is secretly trying to loose weight by doing this,” another continued.

Experts argue that Cheysuli, having no teeth could be inhaling her food to quickly and then it is expanding as it mixes with the fluids in her stomach creating an uncomfortable distention… well FURTHER distention. Cats have the ability to vomit on demand so she is vomiting up the extra.

“I still think she is becoming some sort of Drama Cat,” said an unnamed and possibly jealous little puffy source. “She used to get all that attention by running for president and now all she has is her food.”

Others close to Cheysuli claim that this isn’t an issue and is being handled.

“You try and eat those crunchies you love so much with no teeth Puffalump!” Cheysuli was heard to yell.

This isn’t my best photo. There was too much sun and I was in shadows. However it does hide those little tell tale football-ish lines that might be rounding out my belly just a tad bit.

I mean Georgia isn’t eating as much as she used to and the Woman is saying she is not much longer for this world (although she’s been saying that for years). However, her level of kidney failure is going up and her tail no longer swings as high. Also she is getting the more gaunt look of a kidney failure cat.

But anyway, someone has to eat the food she isn’t eating. I would hate to have it go to waste. What about all those starving kittens? Doesn’t my cleaning my plate mean they aren’t starving any more? I was taught that you know. So I finish things up.

I suppose I shall have to take up diet and exercise once Georgia leaves us. Personally I’m all for lending her what life support I can just so that doesn’t happen for a good long time…

My Meezer Rule for today is:

Let the other Cats think you are listening and then ignore them…

Ignore really is my favorite word. I’m good at it. Also it sounds so fun as it rolls off the tongue. Try it. You need just the right yowl for it you know.

As far as doing the ignoring, I’m also good at that. It makes you seem really important. It allows you to get others to beg for your attention. It makes you important. Consider all the famous cats who would no doubt be less famous if they didn’t practice ignore?

Now, let’s all go out and ignore someone important today!

Well what should I have as a rule for today. How about leave me alone and think of your own rule Woman? I’m napping.

In my retrospective, one of my first posts feels a bit over done even for me. I think I was reading a bit too much Kukka-Maria.  I shouldn’t actually  put down stripes, although when they go the long way they can make you look fat. I mean no tabby is fat–the stripes just go the wrong way and so humans THINK they are fat.

That’ s not what I said then though.  I think I must have mellowed.  A very fine cat from the blogosphere put me in my place as my first commenter.   I wish she were still around to remind me of the beauties of other cats, especially the tabbies.

I had no idea this retrospective would make sniffle a bit.   Ta.

My Meezer Rule: Always check out your business prospects thoroughly.

From the Cat Post Intelligencer:

Presidential Candidate Cheysuli is being investigated following opening a nap coaching business. While coaches are not strictly licensed through the states, Cheysuli failed to file a business license with the state of Washington for her business.

“There will be a formal investigation,” stated one unnamed source in Olympia. “While she has yet to earn any money from this, she has opened a business and advertised without obtaining a business licenses. Fines rub in the hundreds of dollars for this and then there is the issue of back taxes. However, if she really hasn’t earned anything, and we will be checking carefully, she won’t owe anything except the fines.”

Cats in Washington are outraged claiming that Cheysuli has been singled out because of her high profile. “How many other businesses are out there doing business, earning less than $600 a year and aren’t required to have a license?” stated one cat.

Cheysuli was not available for comment. Rumor has it she continues to practice up on her napping for nap coaching.

My Meezer Rule for this Week is that you just have to find yourself.

I am gladly searching. While I like the look the collar is kind of uncomfortable. I am not sure I am a collar type of cat. But I do think the mohawk and the collar make me look tough. What do you think?

Meezer Rule:

Consider all offers (but you don’t have to talk to anyone about them).

Recently my dear dear friend Tony had a business offer for me. He is considering expanding one of his businesses and offered me the position of heading it up.  It would be called Paw da Ping.  At any rate, we had a rather less than G rated discussion how I would fit right in and the pay is good.

It does sound stable but I am not sure I want to manage that many humans… Sigh.  Whatever should I do?

When you make a promise to help a friend get better, you keep it. I promised Lando that I would show some more Chey-tocks if he got better. So being unable to resist such a treat, Lando is much better now. So here I am with more Chey-tocks.

I hope you are all pleased. At least now I no longer have to worry about my reputation, do I?! Ha. Who cares what I show now? Ah the freedom!

A fine fine Meezer Rule to Fall back on: When you find yourself at odds, fall back on a good nap.

May I be the first to congratulation President Elect Barak Obama! YES WE CAN.  While we didn’t break down the specist wall we have broken down another huge wall.   We are fortunate to be living in such auspicious and hopeful times.

However, having spent two years campaigning I feel at loose ends.

So my question to all of you? Now what?

Meezer Rule for Today: Never Give up no matter how far behind you are.

From the Cat Post Intelligencer:

Although Cheysuli is behind in the race, her campaign is certain she can pull it out.

“Polls everywhere show that she has a full 23 of all eligible voters. This is up from only 8 a few months ago,” said one supporter.

“We’re certain that write in votes will be very effective,” said another potential voter.

There is no question that Cheysuli has an uphill battle to win this election. With the Supreme Court not hearing her case to get the feline (and other critter) vote, she is at a strong disadvantge. If she manages to get enough votes, it is questionable whether she can even be confirmed.

“My candidacy is about fighting. It’s about showing what you can do if you just put your mind to it. Even if we don’t win, we have taken cats and other critters farther than they have ever gone before,” said the Candidate at a rally in Salem.