The Cat Post Intelligencer

I am very thankful for my new bed. I can hide from whomever I want in my new bed. I like that.  

You know, it’s New Year’s Eve.  I would like to remember and be thankful for all the cats that I have known that made their way to the Bridge this year.  We do of course, remember especially our sweet Georgia Girl.  There are so many to name as there are each year.  We are blessed to have known them (even just a little) and we are blessed that we always find new friends.

I finally made it back home after that little irritation with the airlines.  They have put me on the do not fly list for “medical reasons.”  Sheesh. Imagine!  ME! As I were a terrorist!

You know what is the worst?   The Woman has changed sides of the bed with the male.  No matter how many times I jump on the side that she used to be on, she is not there. I keep thinking at her thinking she should actually be the Woman and be where she is supposed to be but it’s still the male.   It’s really really distressing to leap up there and be touched by the Male. Gemini just walks over his head and walks to the Woman.   I… I am so upset and distressed I must leap off immediately and leave the room…

After all of that..I think I need another nap…

I love to lie on the arm of the sofa.  Momma usually sits next to me so I can walk  over on her and her blanket and then make biscuits on her tummy.

She will not let me make biscuits right now because she burned her belly.   She was making hot tea and the bottom of the jar she was pouring the tea into just broke off completely.  And hot hot water ran everywhere.  She was leaning against the counter in her sweats and the elastic band absorbed all that hot hot water and then pressed it against her belly and she gots blisters on her belly.  

She does not like my kitty toes trying to poke them.   I do not know why.

I purr best when I am poking with my kitty toes and making biscuits.  So instead I will sit here and purr and make angry eyes at Cheysuli when she tries to pull down the curtains.  Or swat her if she tries to sit on Momma when I am guarding her!

Former Presidential Candidate, Cheysuli has been linked to the lastest gas leak on a plane that nearly killed all 482 passengers and crew members.   Last weekend, Cheysuli was leaving Nigeria on a direct flight from Amsterdam to Detroit.

Stories are conflicted at this point, but it appears that the Siamese had been tasting some unusual foods in the area which caused her to pass gas.   Upon falling asleep in the plane, she let loose.   Passengers began coughing and gagging and a few stopped breathing. Emergency warnings were sounded and oxygen masks were dropped.  Upon an emergency landing in Greenland, all passengers were removed from the plane.  Cheysuli was awakened and very upset with the unscheduled stop.

The Siamese was held in Greenland pending an investigation into her part in all of this.  There are unsubstantiated rumors that she was working with the Catstra Nostra on a new weapons deal. Officials say this latest plane attack may not be the innocent accident it all appears on the surface.

“People could have died on that plane.   Children could have died,” said one official.  “We need to crack down on these cats.”

Cheysuli had no comment on her involvement with the Catstra Nostra.  She did however, point to involvement with various gastointestinal support groups after her faux poot in the early part of 2009 when she ran for President.

I am thankful I get to write today’s post so that I am featured TWICE on the blog this week!  I bet you all are thankful too.  See the pretty lights behind my head?

We got a new bed last night.  Cheysuli will probably use it. She did late last night after ignoring it for a few hours.   I think she likes it. But now there are THREE beds here.  She has slept in all of them and I have slept in none of them.  I am not really a bed cat.

I think Momma talked Daddy into getting that bed by saying I would lie in it because Chey hogs the other two.   I am not really interested in a bed.  Of course, it was purchased for me so maybe I will try it out… some day.

I am checking out to see where the Male is so that I can avoid him.  He has been home and the Woman has not.  Ah me.  What a week.

I should get plenty of ham after this one.   After all, I have been a good cat. I am always a good cat.

Momma is still working THIS WEEK!  What is she thinking. Well at least it is only a long half day today. That means she should be home by 3 PM (without a lunch break) and then she just has one day at her regular work and that probably won’t be as long and then she is off on Thursday!

I am very happy about this. I am tired of never getting any attention and having to miss all my friends.

On Monday the power company came and fixed permanently the thing that they had fixed temporarily last week when the power went out in half the house (but not the other half).   I am glad but it certainly got cold in the house while they were working. Momma was upstairs reading in the brightest room under the blanket so Chey and I came and sat on her where it was warm. I do not like being cold.